His hide is stretched and charred on the edges
pebbles for knuckles
and when he's weak he coughs up the darkest obsidian shades of oil
10.12.09
23.11.09
3.10.09
twenty-three
Last month was my birthday. On my birthday I was greeted with breakfast at work, some recognition via desk decoration and a cake baked by one of my roommates when I got home. Along with much needed company.
The day itself had some hollow moments that were a little too glaring to ignore. This isn't anything new, I suppose.
Lately I've missed my family quite a bit. My father currently lives near the Pacific rim with my little brother. My mother is quite busy with her new position that requires tons of travel. And even when she is home, in Dallas which is only a 4 hour drive or so, I don't have a car to make the trek. I'm not sure what it is but sometimes there is just this overwhelming feeling of loss when talking to the people you grew up under. Like there's no more building and you have to take what you can get for any growth as a person.
I've been playing a lot of guitar. And since I actually did get that steel kick, I've been playing drums more and more. It's hard to be in the daily grind but the sun is out less and the wind blows so I don't feel as trapped. Stress at work combined with little to no time to myself has been a jading experience. I'm working my way out of it but it's like trying to crawl out of a muddy ditch. Every time you reach you just pull more down on top of you.
Enough personal talk though. Let's talk records I've been listening to.
Natural Snow Buildings - Shadow Kingdom
Organic drone duo from france. They create atmospheres like no other. This is new and their first proper LP. It's a 3-LP. Here is a mediafire of the cd version.
Steven R. Smith - Cities
One of my favorite guitarists in recent times. Very dissonant, like a score to a void. Lots of brilliant instrumentation and dynamics. This is his most recent release.
Also been jamming:
Spiritualized - Abbey Rd EP
Bill Frisell - Disfarmer
Slayer - Hell Awaits
Venom - Welcome to Hell
Eyehategod - Dopesick
Barn Owl - bridge to the clouds
stay healthy
12.8.09
Nossa Bova
It's been over a year since I've written in this.
Here's what's happened:
Living situation:
-stayed in Austin
-Lived in a cheap house on the east side with no a/c, a faulty foundation and right next to the railroad tracks. Sean and Greg(Odhinn) lived with us until about January and then broke lease and moved out. We had one more roommate until about June. Moved out last weekend.
-Currently live in a house on the Northeast side with Fat Zack, Braden, Bill Money and Mike McHale. It's the shit.
Work:
-Have worked up to being an Eligibility Clerk at Boon-Chapman. It's a third-party administrator for health insurance. It's a steady job with alright pay.
-Currently looking for supplemental income, but haven't figured out what I can do around here quite yet.
Extra-Curricular:
-Joined Hatred Surge, a powerviolence band originally started by Alex Hughes. Used to be just him but he asked Ulsh and I to play on the first LP. We just got back from supporting that LP, and I'm very happy to be on it. This is the band I get pissed and play fast in.
-Odhinn disbanded a little while before Sean and Greg moved out.
-Started Sungod with Braden. A lot of Odhinn's sound transferred over(moreso the improvisation element)..but basically it's a two-piece noisy psych-rock band. That's the band I lose myself in.
-Have been writing more in screenplay format. Nothing too exciting, in my opinion, but I've been working on it.
-Currently seeking out stainless steel drum shells
-Currently picking up guitar again in a serious way, thanks to FZ
Lovelife:
-Not much to report. Have "seen/dated" some different girls in and around Austin but nothing serious. Usually just a few dates or hanging out spread out over the course of a few months. Doesn't look like much is going to change on that. Still don't really know what I want whatsoever. I guess that never changes, though.
What with having to re-assemble my life after tour last year and take responsibility as far as paying bills and not living on couches; I've had to simplify my priorities quite a bit. There is a steady climb in my self-control over my own angry and anxious nature. Being on the road recently has put more in perspective. I wasn't scared of coming home. That could be attributed to me actually having a home to come back to this time, I'm guessing.
My only problems lately lie in the expectations of others, rather than any of my own. So these are not real problems except in their minds. I feel like people make it a point to be unhappy if they don't know all the details. More and more my peers get wrapped up in what they think should be happening in their lives. While one obviously should have goals, the lack of patience and the act of spreading oneself thin seems to really effect one's soul. At the end of the day the only thoughts they ponder are how to be prepared for tomorrow. Being sure to step over all of your conceived problems, fast-tracking to your own last days with the final product steadily in mind.
I've been under the impression that, if I work towards this picture in my head of where I'd like to end up..who I want to be, I end up missing out on everything that's not pictured. Trapped in that frame of mind, so to speak. Simply put, I am able to relax a lot more now with this attitude. I try not to let my ego control me.
Heavy rotation in the past few weeks:
More later.
Here's what's happened:
Living situation:
-stayed in Austin
-Lived in a cheap house on the east side with no a/c, a faulty foundation and right next to the railroad tracks. Sean and Greg(Odhinn) lived with us until about January and then broke lease and moved out. We had one more roommate until about June. Moved out last weekend.
-Currently live in a house on the Northeast side with Fat Zack, Braden, Bill Money and Mike McHale. It's the shit.
Work:
-Have worked up to being an Eligibility Clerk at Boon-Chapman. It's a third-party administrator for health insurance. It's a steady job with alright pay.
-Currently looking for supplemental income, but haven't figured out what I can do around here quite yet.
Extra-Curricular:
-Joined Hatred Surge, a powerviolence band originally started by Alex Hughes. Used to be just him but he asked Ulsh and I to play on the first LP. We just got back from supporting that LP, and I'm very happy to be on it. This is the band I get pissed and play fast in.
-Odhinn disbanded a little while before Sean and Greg moved out.
-Started Sungod with Braden. A lot of Odhinn's sound transferred over(moreso the improvisation element)..but basically it's a two-piece noisy psych-rock band. That's the band I lose myself in.
-Have been writing more in screenplay format. Nothing too exciting, in my opinion, but I've been working on it.
-Currently seeking out stainless steel drum shells
-Currently picking up guitar again in a serious way, thanks to FZ
Lovelife:
-Not much to report. Have "seen/dated" some different girls in and around Austin but nothing serious. Usually just a few dates or hanging out spread out over the course of a few months. Doesn't look like much is going to change on that. Still don't really know what I want whatsoever. I guess that never changes, though.
What with having to re-assemble my life after tour last year and take responsibility as far as paying bills and not living on couches; I've had to simplify my priorities quite a bit. There is a steady climb in my self-control over my own angry and anxious nature. Being on the road recently has put more in perspective. I wasn't scared of coming home. That could be attributed to me actually having a home to come back to this time, I'm guessing.
My only problems lately lie in the expectations of others, rather than any of my own. So these are not real problems except in their minds. I feel like people make it a point to be unhappy if they don't know all the details. More and more my peers get wrapped up in what they think should be happening in their lives. While one obviously should have goals, the lack of patience and the act of spreading oneself thin seems to really effect one's soul. At the end of the day the only thoughts they ponder are how to be prepared for tomorrow. Being sure to step over all of your conceived problems, fast-tracking to your own last days with the final product steadily in mind.
I've been under the impression that, if I work towards this picture in my head of where I'd like to end up..who I want to be, I end up missing out on everything that's not pictured. Trapped in that frame of mind, so to speak. Simply put, I am able to relax a lot more now with this attitude. I try not to let my ego control me.
Heavy rotation in the past few weeks:
More later.
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